I was about to write only about assumptions. An easy read for a Sunday afternoon. But as I was collecting my thoughts around this topic, I came to realize this is way bigger than I thought.
Assumptions.
Deeply ingrained in our everyday lives – unconscious yet ever-present, shaping realities and mending entire lifetimes. Assumptions are the easiest way to betray the truth. They masquerade as knowing, but they are born mostly of fear – the fear of asking, the fear of hearing, the fear of being seen, the fear of being judged, the fear of failure.
To trust in our soul’s wisdom is the hardest thing in a world so loud about feeding the Ego and so committed to questioning the heart.
Across cultures, studies, hospice interviews, and countless books, the most common regret people express at the end of life is this:
“I wish I had lived a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
This regret carries many faces – staying in jobs or relationships that felt wrong out of fear or duty. Silencing true feelings to avoid conflict. Postponing joy until “someday.” Never exploring passions and inner callings. People often realize, too late, that they spent too much time trying to be good or responsible – and not enough time being alive and authentic.
Many reach the end of life realizing they never truly created their life – they only managed it.
Creativity is not just about art. It’s the energy of life itself – the act of shaping, expressing, birthing something that didn’t exist before. When we deny it, we deny a part of our humanity.
I don’t know about you, dear reader, but I do not wish to pass through this unique life accumulating regrets that make my last breath heavy with sorrow.
Just imagine this:
You’re 80-something years old, lying in bed. Your breath is slow. Your body tired. Around you, the world fades into a soft hum. You feel the time is near… You close your eyes with the ache of what could have been.
Then suddenly, time bends.
You open your eyes – and you’re in your late thirties again, almost 40. Your heart races. You remember it. You’re standing on the threshold of a new era in your life. You stand between two timelines: one ruled by Ego and fear, the other by Soulful truth. Both exist. The one you choose becomes the lifeline that will shape the next 40+ years of your existence.
Two paths.
On one, you stay silent – letting fear, apathy, pride, and assumptions hold you back from speaking your truth. You tell yourself the familiar narratives you’ve been carrying for decades. Stories that whisper: Love is an illusion. People disappoint. Pain always follows openness. You must stay within the lines. Dreaming is foolish. You’re a bad apple anyway, and you suck at love. Things are as they are – there’s no way to change them. Just focus on work and be happy with your two weeks of holiday a year. Anyway, we’re not here for love or happiness. Life has always been an endless struggle.
You know very well where this road has taken you – staying within the lines of your mind’s narrative. And in doing so, you slowly starve your own aliveness. You age, but you don’t really live. The years ahead are filled with what ifs.
What if I had been brave? What if I had spoken? What if love was real, after all? What if I had dared to try wood carving, pottery, dancing salsa? What if…?
And when you reach that deathbed again, your tears aren’t from the release of a life well lived – they are tears of regret. You know life gave you a thousand chances to choose love, to create, to explore, to follow your soul’s call… and you didn’t.
Then there is another path – a different story. In this one, you take your last breath with a calm smile. Not because life was perfect, but because you were brave enough to live it through love. You took chances, explored, failed, and rose again. You stumbled and discovered a hundred facets of life, again and again. You smile because, while there was joy in missing out on certain things, you definitely did not miss out on your own precious life.
You have chosen the path where you anchored yourself in your heart’s wisdom – even when it went against the mind, family traditions, or societal expectations. You chose clarity over assumption, experience over other people’s opinions, courage over fear. You asked instead of assuming. You listened instead of reacting. You said I love you even when you feared the answer and your voice was shaking. You changed history and proved that love – the real one –is worth every risk.
And it is.
A thousand times, it is worth it.
If you never try, you’ll never know just how many blessings life has to offer. And at the core, we all know – the story-line at the end will be a different one.
A story where you smile at your loved one, singing together:
Looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come together.
We took the long way, we knew we’d get there someday.
They said, “I bet they’ll never make it.”
But just look at us holding on – we’re still together, still going strong…
There’s nothing better than beating all the odds together. I’m glad we didn’t listen. Just look at what we would have been missing.
I’m so glad we made it. Look how far we’ve come, my baby.
(Great song from 1997 😊 – “You’re Still the One” by Shania Twain.)
When I talk about these topics, I deeply hope and trust that no one thinks I expect everyone to make such drastic changes as I did around age 37–39. What I did was my path – following my inner call. Just because my previous life was completely misaligned doesn’t mean everyone’s story is similarly off track. The truth is, most of the time, even a small shift can lead us to a completely different life story.
People often say it was “easy” for me to change – to go on a different path because life presented me with no other option when I got ill. But the truth is, there was another way. I could have ignored the signs again and again, and died while still having a heartbeat. I could have starved my own aliveness, just as so many people do – out of fear, lack of curiosity, lack of willingness, or often, a lack of healthy self-love, which is the true fuel and motivator for change.
The thing is, envisioning myself dying before I even felt alive terrified me far more than any other fear or assumption ever could.
By age 37, I already knew I didn’t want to live countless more years the same way. Not even one more day, actually. During the last two years of my marriage, I kept convincing myself that things would get better – that change was coming.
I don’t promote separation at any cost. I’m not saying quitting jobs, changing careers, or moving countries is the recipe for every situation. While I personally did all of the above within a dramatic two-year span, in most cases, an honest conversation and a mature attitude already create a strong foundation for change and an expansion in life quality.
In my case, as I began healing, I started to observe myself – and him. I noticed the thousand little signs. I began to acknowledge his complete unwillingness to change. I was shocked and deeply hurt as I realized he did everything in his power to prevent me from changing – even if remaining the same would have cost me my health and sanity.
So instead of assuming and staying trapped for a lifetime, I asked.
Will he come to couples therapy? No.
Would he meet my therapist and start to deal with his loaded “package” of fears, traumas, and limitations? No.Would he open himself up to anyone he felt safe enough to trust? No.
One day he confessed that he would never do therapy or make any effort to dig into his muddy waters, because, in his words, “I know my family is so fucked up that I don’t want to deal with what may come to the surface.”
He told me I should stop this therapy nonsense and act like someone hadn’t brainwashed me.
There it was – a clear answer.
No more assumptions about how we would grow old together or heal into better versions of ourselves. Just clarity.
From that point, it was on me to decide:
Do I want to live the rest of my life in that slow, stagnating death, or do I choose to step out and start all over again?
The thing is, assuming someone will stay no matter how bad things get has been proven true far more often than it should be. That’s why this assumption is so powerful. Among the many reasons – financial, societal, cultural, or educational – one of the most overlooked conditioning lies in the phrase: “Divorce is not an option.”
This one sentence has been the death sentence of countless relationships.
Not because it denies the possibility of leaving unhealthy situations, but because it empowers the idea that one doesn’t have to make an effort for the marriage to work – that one doesn’t have to be present, curious, kind, loving, or respectful.
So, I would gladly suggest that people agree from the very beginning that yes – divorce is an option. That way, both partners know that life together is teamwork, a conscious choice to nurture love and respect toward one another.
As I said, it’s no coincidence that all this happened in my late thirties.
My experience is living proof of what many only study – I was living what others know only in theory. My creative awakening and healing journey were not random; they were leading me to my second birth, because my soul was insisting, louder and louder, on being known.
In other words: “Remember who you are.”
That phrase itself feels like the first breath of a soul awakening – after 38 or 39 years of gestation.
I am not the only living example. Luckily, more and more people are finding their way out of heavy limitations and fear-based narratives – Choosing life, in its wholeness.
In many holistic and ancestral traditions, it’s believed that human life moves in soul cycles – roughly every 7, 9, or 37–39 years. The idea that we spend about 38 to 39 weeks in our mother’s womb, and that a parallel rhythm repeats around the age of 38–39, carries a poetic and energetic power.
At that point, something within us begins to “contract” again — just like labor pains before birth. It’s the soul’s way of saying: “It’s time to remember why you came here.”
If by that age we are not living fully aligned with our essence – if we’ve lived mostly according to conditioning, duty, or fear – life often orchestrates events that shake us awake. Illness, loss, breakdowns, identity crises, or radical turning points appear. They are not punishments; they are contractions, preparing us for a rebirth into authenticity.
I lived this truth in my own story.
The illness, the awakening through art, how creativity became medicine – these were all signs of the soul labor that brought me from survival to purpose.
Even psychology, though it speaks a different language, recognizes this cycle. Around the late 30s to early 40s, many people experience what’s often called a midlife transition – not necessarily a crisis, but an inner reckoning. Carl Jung wrote that the first half of life is about building the persona – the identity we show to the world. The second half begins when the soul demands something deeper: integration and individuation.
Authenticity.
If we resist change, we may remain trapped in an old narrative – another 38-year cycle of unconscious repetition.
If we surrender and align with the soul’s voice, that same period becomes a spiritual rebirth.
In Recall Healing, German New Medicine, and even epigenetic studies, the body is understood to hold biological memories in cycles. So, the age of 38–39 can symbolically mirror the gestational period – a call to re-gestate yourself consciously, to give birth to the self your mother could not, or society did not allow you to be.
Every soul reaches a moment when it must decide – to remain in the womb of the old life, or to be born into the unknown.
If fear wins, another cycle begins – predictable, carrying the illusion of safety, yet filled with unspoken what ifs.
But when courage wins, we are reborn – and our purpose begins to unfold naturally.
If you find yourself in your late thirties or beyond – restless, confused, numb or breaking open – don’t rush to fix it or hide it.
You’re not lost. You’re being encouraged to be reborn. This time, consciously. This time, aligned with who you truly are.
Remember who you are.
Humanity has a collective addiction to knowing – even when what it “knows” isn’t real.
When I say we need to come off the collective, learned addiction to rely on assumptions, I’m describing a detox from mental reflexes – the ones that fill silence with stories instead of listening.
Stopping for a moment to check whether what we think is rooted in love or in fear – that’s the most radical act of awareness. It’s where freedom begins.
Life has a curious way of testing the lessons we claim we’ve learned.
Last week, my father had heart surgery. He is recovering beautifully. Yet, when my mother forwarded his message – “Don’t call today, he’s tired, it was a heavy day” – my first thought was, something’s wrong. But within a moment, I asked my mom, “Is he really okay?” She reassured me that he was. In that moment, I dropped the old automatic assumption rooted in fear and chose trust and respect instead.
I felt peace with his wish.
I chose to hear his words without attaching a narrative to them, and asked her to tell him that he is much loved and that I’ll call tomorrow.
You see, the old narrative would have been: “Why doesn’t he want to talk? Something must be wrong. I’ll call anyway – I need to know.” That’s a fear-based reaction – one that used to live in me. But this time, I chose differently. I respected his wish. I didn’t fall into assumptions or take it personally.
That small moment revealed something deeper: how easily the mind creates assumptions when faced with silence. Respecting someone’s silence is an act of love.
It’s saying: I trust your timing, your process, your truth – even when it doesn’t include me right now.
Choosing not to “provoke” a conversation doesn’t mean you’ve given up; it means you’ve grown beyond the need to control what unfolds.
Assumptions dissolve when we stop trying to make sense of other people’s silence – and instead, honour their right to hold it.
True love respects the space another soul needs, even when we don’t understand it.
Other common regrets the elderly share are not expressing love and gratitude enough, working too much, not staying in touch with friends, and not allowing themselves to be happier.
At the core, all of these point back to one thing – disconnection from the true self, from that inner voice that quietly whispers what really matters.
Many people fill their free time with passive entertainment – TV, games, scrolling – rather than engaging in something creative or soul-nourishing.
Creativity has become associated with performance and judgment, not with play and self-expression.
The modern adult world rewards productivity, not curiosity.
So, people slowly abandon their natural creative instinct, replacing it with habits that numb or distract rather than awaken.
When people are chronically stressed, disconnected from nature, or emotionally unfulfilled, they don’t have much energy left for creativity.
TV and games offer easy dopamine and escape – no risk, no vulnerability, no inner confrontation. Society conditions people to value consumption over creation.
We buy rather than make, watch rather than express, follow rather than imagine. The collective creative muscle has been deteriorating.
Creative activities – painting, writing, crafting, cooking, baking, even gardening – create space for feelings and truths to arise.
Many people unconsciously avoid that space because it confronts them with what’s unhealed, unrealized, or unlived within – a fear of silence and of self.
The thing is, few realize how deeply assumptions twist lives, relationships, and communication
At the core, assumptions are stories we create in the absence of clarity.
The human mind loves completion – it can’t stand not knowing, especially in emotionally charged situations.
So, it fills the gaps with what feels most familiar, rather than what’s most true.
That’s where the twist begins.
We live in a world addicted to assumptions.
People assume instead of asking.
They build stories in their heads and call them truth.
Assumptions are shortcuts to fear.
They protect the ego, not the heart.
Change the question – and the answer will be different.
I know some might think I’m delusional. Yet it takes the same amount of energy to choose love and faith instead of fear. And there is freedom of choice even in the assumptions we make.
It’s easy to call positive assumptions “delusional” when generations – and entire industries -are built on disappointment.
I choose to trust in Life and Love, again and again.
I choose to assume I can succeed in life.
I choose to assume that my words reach the right ears, and my art touches the right hearts.
I choose to assume that life unfolds in divine timing — that I am seen, loved, supported, and fought for.
I choose to assume that I am worthy.
And through these assumptions, I activate energies in such a way that they evolve into certainty – certainty of my worth, of being loved, and of living a life I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Because I know I’m walking the path of my soul’s choice – with purpose and clarity.
Sometimes, the most radical act is to trust again – to believe in love, in yourself, in the unknown, in possibility, in your own heart’s knowing.
So, if life gave you that one miraculous hour before death to go back and change the narrative – what would you choose?
Love or fear?
Every sunrise is another chance to begin again – to stay anchored in your heart, and to choose courage over fear.
In a world conditioned to expect disappointment, cynicism has become a form of self-protection.
Many people equate hope, trust, or faith in goodness with naïveté – because they once trusted and got hurt.
So, when someone holds a positive assumption – “I believe this will turn out well,” “I trust their intentions are kind,” “I sense the situation will unfold with grace” – it threatens the worldview built around fear and control.
The “delusional” label often comes not from wisdom, but from wounded realism – the kind that confuses trauma-informed caution with truth.
There’s a huge difference between blind optimism and soul-level trust.
Blind optimism denies reality.
Soul-level trust includes reality but also sees beyond fear.
Positive assumptions, when rooted in inner alignment rather than denial, can actually heal communication.
Fear-based assumptions shrink relationships.
Conscious, heart-based assumptions – trusting good intent, giving space – expand them.
Another phase I experienced, quite an interesting one, is that the moment you decide to change the question – to change the assumptions – your mind will start to wrestle. It will fight for the old narrative.
It had all the answers – truth or false doesn’t matter – it established a storyline years ago and made your reality circle around it. Now, when you change the question, the answer will be different. That shift will literally cause a revolution within you. It will blow your mind, create a disturbance in the established system, make your heart beat differently. The chemistry of your body changes – and with that inevitable internal domino, your nervous system joins the party, knocking out all your circuits as it senses danger.
Yeah. Changing the inner narrative will cause strange, interesting, weird, and even shocking effects.
And it will happen again and again until the new question – the new, positive, faith-based mindset and assumption – establishes new circuits in your brain strong enough to challenge the old thoughts.
Repetitio est mater studiorum, said the old ones in Latin.
Repetition is the mother of knowledge.
This is how we learned in the first place all the things that keep us trapped – because they were repeated often enough for us to believe them as truth.
One must refuse and deny fear-based assumptions and limitations the power to steal our lives.
Fear is a valid feeling, just like all others.
Yet most of the time it is:
F – False
E – Evidence
A – Appearing
R – Real
It’s our imagination running wild.
Just because everyone is doing something doesn’t mean it’s right.
It’s far better to be on your own, with your own beliefs – knowing you stayed true to yourself – than to try to fit into boxes or the stereotypes of life.
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